The waiting game continues…

So another day not another dollar earned. The waiting game continues as Im still having a difficult time finding a job. Even though Im not 100% right now I have decided that maybe getting a job will help with the integrating again. Its been too long since Ive worked. I guess because of school I was very busy. So as of now I spend even more time on the laptop looking for that one chance to get my foot within the door. I think doing a little data entry work won’t hurt and actuallly help in the recovery process.

It sucks not moving in life. Everything around you is changing while you sit there waiting for your health to get better. What pisses me off is the amount of work I did in my life didnt change anything at all. If anything, made things worse for my health, but this not moving. Even researching new ways to find adventure in life doesn’t interest me at all anymore. Still looking for that spark of interest in that I can get out there and start exploring the world again. There are definitely going to be some changes once that motivation is back in my life. I guess all I can do now is take my medication, hope a job turns up and take it from there.

Doctors Appointment

So today I went to go see my psychiatrist. As usual the long journey to get there was long and strenuous. 20 minute bike ride, 15 minute train ride, 15 minute walk to the office. I guess because I haven’t had much exercise in the last year things are bound to be more difficult then they really are. I guess for that reason Im trying to exercise more and possibly lose a couple of pounds that I put on over the time of just sitting on my ass and doing nothing.

As for the appointment, we’re uping the meds. which is a good note of some sort. Usually its go there, talk and nothing happens, though I was hoping to get into the reccomended program for psychosis. I am sort of in a pissed off mood, being in this state and all.

A lot of the reason being the amount of work Ive done in my life spiritually has set me back in what I really wanted in my life. What pisses me off the most is the counsellor had her own agenda and I know this because of the drama between her and my dad. All I can say is that Im fed up of missing out on life and look forward to getting better now and in the future.  And when I am better making sure some people stay out of my life.

Revamping the page…

So Im back! Not in 100% condition, but Im alive. Instead of using this space for jokes, like it use to be I figuire why not write about the everday journey that Im on. So here it begins.

Psychosis. The effects from depression, loss of reality, and the interferances of everyday life. This is what I have to put up with for now. Not gonna say Im too happy with whats come of 4 years of hard and dedicated study, but this is it. Instead of getting up to work everyday and make a career for myself, Im stuck watching endless amounts of television (not a television watcher, for everyone out there), as well as stuck on the laptop for hours.

It sucks. The waiting game that is. The endless amount of time waiting for my strength to come back so I can go out there in society and make a man of myself. The waiting game of getting the right cocktail of medications so I can get back out there and kick some ass (and get some as well, hahaha). So here it is. The blog on my recovering, my knowledge on psychosis, and the everday doings of a man trying to get back on his feet. Hopefully this might inspire some people out there as well in their recovery.